How to Say Goodbye

By Rev. Carol Bodeau

Dear Friends,

I am writing this message to you only a couple of hours after learning that a beloved member of our congregation, Elizabeth Corbett, died peacefully this morning. It is a hard loss, and I am grieving not only a friend and fellow Westside staff member, but also someone who was an incredible presence in our larger local community. Elizabeth was a passionate advocate and activist for justice, particularly fighting for the rights of immigrants, and she led our congregation in many ways over many years in the work of building the world we wish to live in.

Longtime member and former Programs & Membership Coordinator, Elizabeth Corbett

This season, the season of autumn, is already a bit melancholy. Last weekend, our Earth Church community gathered to celebrate Samhain (that's pronounced 'saw-win'), which is the earth-based New Year. It is the time when we honor our ancestors, those who have died but are still alive in our hearts and minds. This tradition is echoed in the Christian All Souls and All Saints celebrations, as well as in the Mexican Dia de los Muertos. At this time of the year, as our All Souls service on Sunday highlighted, we pay attention to how important it is to grieve, to remember, and to honor those who are no longer with us.

But how do we say goodbye, when it is so fresh? Death is something we often find it hard to talk about, and yet talking about it openly and directly can be a healing balm. It helps us to know, first, that we are not alone in our grief. It also gives us a chance to move through the thoughts, feelings, and even very physical responses we have when faced with loss. For some of us, words are not helpful, but simple presence is needed. Either way, I hope that we can give one another the space to be honest about what matters to us, about what we need, even when it is hard.

Founding Westside member, Lois Calhoun

This month, we will be honoring the loss of Lois Calhoun, a founder of Westside who died a few weeks ago at the age of 91. We will be grieving Elizabeth, who died much younger. And many of us will be remembering Janet Edkins, who died very suddenly one year ago this week. And so many others, people known to a few of us, or to all of us. People who had big presences, and people who quietly did the good work of loving the world from the background. People who challenged us, and people who cared for us.

As we spoke the names of our ancestors on Sunday in our service, there was a holy reverence in the room, even in a 'non-religious' UU community. Because life is sacred, and that makes death a holy thing. It brings us moments when we stop to recognize both the power and fragility of this human experience. It is a time when we fully acknowledge just how much we mean to one another.

Information about Elizabeth's memorial service will be coming soon, but for now we hold her husband Dave, and all who loved her, in our care. Let's remember always how precious life is, how sacred it is to love and care for one another, and how essential it is to be connected.

In gratitude for your presence,

Rev. Carol