Being Good Neighbors to All Our Neighbors

By Rev. Carol Bodeau

Dear Friends,

Our theme this year is 'neighborliness.' The worship team, in coordination with some priorities the Board has been discussing, decided to focus this year on getting to know our 'neighbors'—in our congregation, in our town, and in our world—a little better. We often think of a neighbor as either someone who inhabits shared space, or someone whom we see as 'like us,' part of a community with which we identify. But what about the 'neighbors' who impact us, but may not be close in either geography or identity?

A diverse group of people stand connected by vibrant threads, in a serene landscape at sunset. Paths before them suggest choices and shared journeys.

It is a time of great division in our nation and world, and it seems to me that finding common ground with others will be key to finding our way back to more civil, loving society. And this may mean finding ways to think about my 'neighbors' differently.

In recent months, it has become common for people—including UU's—to speak in very general (often negative) terms about others in different political, religious and social communities. But this isn't really our values. Here's what our denominational Bylaws say about including others, and their traditions, in our UU communities:

Pluralism. We celebrate that we are all sacred beings, diverse in culture, experience, and theology. We covenant to learn from one another in our free and responsible search for truth and meaning. We embrace our differences and commonalities with Love, curiosity, and respect…

We draw upon, and are inspired by, sacred, secular, and scientific understandings that help us make meaning and live into our values…We respect the histories, contexts, and cultures in which these sources were created and are currently practiced. Grateful for the experiences that move us, aware of the religious ancestries we inherit, and enlivened by the diversity which enriches our faith, we are called to ever deepen and expand our wisdom.

These sections of our bylaws tell us that we covenant to welcome all who share our values (which is not necessarily the same as sharing our assumed theologies or political leanings). We covenant to be curious about those who want to join with us, and to be respectful of all people, from all traditions, without pre-judging them.

All of us have been feeling a little challenged lately, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, sometimes fearful. And those feelings can trigger reactive words and actions. This is perfectly normal and understandable, and we all do it. But as I said in a recent sermon, it is possible to set boundaries with love, and this may be necessary for us to rebuild our social fabric. What I think this means is setting boundaries on the destructive behaviors others engage in, without needing to shame or judge individual human beings simply because of the communities they participate in. We don't want others to do this to us or those we love, and we need to be more careful about not doing it ourselves to others.

Lately, I've been hearing more and more words of blame, shame and judgment about our 'neighbors' in other faith traditions and political communities. In fact, we have sadly lost some very interested visitors to Westside, who have been harmed by hearing such words. This is something we can work on, together. And we can do so without compromising our core values of Justice, Equity, Transformation, Pluralism, Interdependence, and Generosity.

What would it mean for each of us to deepen and widen our sense of this community, to include those who seem quite different from us, but who indeed share our core values while perhaps speaking about them from different contexts? This is the challenge the Board, the Worship team, and I are all contemplating right now. And we invite you to join with us in this essential growing-edge work.

In faith and hope,

Rev. Carol